What having a Bat Mitzvah means to me at the age of 71

Written by Gaye Daniels - November 2025 To explain what having a Bat Mitzvah meant to me at my tender age of 71, I should explain something about my life.

I grew up in an anglicised family, but we always celebrated the major Jewish festivals. I have always been passionate about being Jewish and a strong supporter of Israel.

My married years were observant, and when divorced, I tried to continue with as much as I could living by myself. However, I gradually developed an in-between religion and then spent nearly 11 years living with someone not Jewish in an area I can only describe as Midsomer Murders but without the murders. To fit in, you had to go to church and have a dog, of which I did/had neither.

I would have loved to have grown up with a community like Kehillat Nashira, however, as a child in the 60s, there really wasn’t anything for girls and cheder was boring, so I stopped going as soon as I could. It was all about the boys.

I’ve always been an advocate of women and girls. I was part of the Women’s Liberation Movement in the 70’s and the Women’s Tefillah Group in Stanmore in the 80’s, so I’m delighted that at last girls can grow up today knowing that they can participate in the service, knowing that they are capable and that they are encouraged to do that (well, only in certain communities).

When I started on this journey, I never thought in a million years that I was ever going to manage it. So when I approached Rabbi Miriam with the idea of me doing a Bat Mitzvah, after my birthday last year, it wasn’t to find a date – it was because I was unsure of myself and didn’t even know if I was capable of leining or doing the haftorah.

I must thank my granddaughter, Juno, who really was my inspiration. She was so brilliant at her own Bat Mitzvah last year, that I wondered if I might be able to do one.

A few years ago, still living in ‘Midsomer’, I realised for the first time in my life, that I thought I was losing my Jewish identity and needed to reconnect with my Judaism. So began a new chapter in my life, and it’s still continuing. So I thank Rabbi Miriam and the Kehillat Nashira.

Having a Bat Mitzvah at my age was a big challenge but one I needed to do. Learning to lein, the tunes, notes and understand. I so much wanted to do this that I put everything into it. It has been such a wonderful year learning (yes, it took me a year), but I did it. I suppose, I equate it to going to the mikva, for the one and only time, after I’d had a hysterectomy. I was told by the Rebbetzen, that this one occasion equated to me having gone to the mikvah the whole of my life. That was a very spiritual experience.

On the day of my Bat Mitzvah, I don’t think that I have ever in my life been as nervous leining my parasha. And I’m used to acting, directing, making speeches and public speaking.

I didn’t want to fall flat on my face and make a fool of myself.  I didn’t want to let myself down. I was worried that my mind would go blank or I’d forget it. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to read the Sefah Torah or recognise the notes. But it was the most wonderful experience. I’m sure my haftorah must have been one of the longest at 31 verses! I was also, so incredibly happy and I didn’t stop smiling. The whole community was with me and it was so emotional and beautiful. I understand there was hardly a dry eye in the house. I know, I was one of those crying.

I’d like to do more leining but can only do small steps at the moment so don’t want to undertake anything long. But if I can do it once, then I can do it again.

I would certainly say to any woman, regardless of her age, that if you are even remotely thinking about it then you won’t regret it.