Pause for Thought - Grandma Shirley in the garden

This week, Rabbi Miriam Lorie joined BBC Radio 2's Pause for Thought with a reflection inspired by the recent loss of her grandmother, Shirley, who passed away three weeks ago at the age of 95.

"My wonderful grandma Shirley passed away three weeks ago at the amazing age of 95. She has featured in a couple of my Pause for Thoughts because she was quite simply a legend. Witty, elegant, a fabulous cook and host and very cultured - grandma in her heyday could be found serving at a buffet table, strolling through an art gallery, or playing Rummikub with a grandchild. But she was most at home in a garden, particularly her own shady little haven filled with roses, rhododendrons, camelias and hydrangeas. 

Oh and she loved spring flowers but used to say “those squirrels wait for me to plant my bulbs, tittering at the silly old lady, then they come with little spades and wheelbarrows as soon as my back’s turned and dig them all up”. 

Grandma went through a phase, about eighteen months ago, of saying goodbye to everyone. In one of our goodbyes Grandma said that she’d always be there. I said “yes, I’ll always see you there when I’m in a garden”. Quick as a flash she said “or in a kitchen”.

Well I was doing a rare bit of gardening on Sunday and I did feel grandma’s presence. It was her who taught me how to pot bedding plants, tipping the little tubs upside down rather than yanking them out. I find it strange and comforting how, when someone passes away, their presence can be felt everywhere, now that they’re no longer restricted to a physical body. 

Judaism focuses heavily on this life rather than the afterlife, but one name we do have for heaven is “Gan Eden - the Garden of Eden”, that perfect first home for the first humans Adam and Eve, now reserved for our souls to travel to after death. 

I like to think of Grandma Shirley now in that ultimate garden, Gan Eden. She’ll be happily potting, weeding and trimming. And let’s hope that in the heavenly garden the squirrels are otherwise engaged and leave the bulbs alone. God bless, Grandma. You’ll be missed, but your presence will be felt everywhere. Particularly in a garden."