Purim as Havdalah: Holding Joy and Fear at the Same Time

This year, Purim has felt a little different. The usual costumes and celebrations come against a backdrop of worry, both in Israel and at home.

On Purim night, Rabbi Miriam Lorie shared the following words after saying tehillim to help frame the moment:

Does Purim feel jarring this year?

Purim is bavdalah

If you were feeling ambivalence coming to Purim tonight, with all its fun and costumes and silliness, given the context in Israel and the world this week, you will not have been alone.

In Israel, our brothers and sisters are not allowed to go to communal readings. They may be getting ready for another night in a crowded safe room. They may read the megilla to themselves, or listen to one on Zoom, with booms in the background. My family shared that they’re not sure if they dare venture out far enough to deliver mishloach manot. Their purim seuda has been cancelled because there’s no way everyone could fit in one safe room. Our beloved friends and family are under attack.

I want to frame tonight’s reading in a slightly different way to usual.

You see, reading Megillat Esther itself, there are plenty of serious and worrying themes. On a communal level, it’s a story about a loss of innocence. A community who were confident and integrated - the Jews of ancient Persia - suddenly face an existential threat. A lot of people die at the end. Sure, they are the bad guys, but you can imagine the tension left in the air with regard to the Jewish community in the aftermath. So there is communal worry at the beginning, middle and end.

On a personal level too, there are heavy themes. Esther has lost both parents. It’s not something we talk about much. But she’s vulnerable, even living with Mordechai. When she’s taken to the palace, she loses her home and her community. She is forced to marry a man she didn’t choose, and one with a particularly awful reputation. And at the end of the story, she’s still there. It’s something the Rabbis grapple with - Esther is a sort of sacrifice to the cause of saving our people.

I share this because along with our worries for Israel, there will be people in this room going through personal difficulties. There has been sad news in Borehamwood this week with the loss of someone who people here were close to. Life with its challenges and losses continues, regardless of the Jewish calendar.

But the framing I’d like to share comes with a line from the megillah which will be familiar to lots of people. It comes from Chapter 8, when the story has been turned around:

לַיְּהוּדִים, הָיְתָה אוֹרָה וְשִׂמְחָה, וְשָׂשֹׂן, וִיקָר

The Jews enjoyed light and gladness, happiness and honor.

Why is this line so familiar to us? Because we read it at havdalah. And havdalah is like a web of protection that we weave around ourselves as we leave the cosy safety of Shabbat and head into the exposure of the week. This web is built with different lines from Tanakh which recall strength, light, protection.

הִנֵּה אֵל יְשׁוּעָתִי אֶבְטַח וְלֹא אֶפְחָד “

Behold, God is my savior, I will trust God and not be afraid”,

וּשְׁאַבְתֶּם מַיִם בְּשָׂשׂוֹן מִמַּעַיְנֵי הַיְשׁוּעָה “

You will draw water joyously from the wellsprings of salvation” (both from Isaiah) etc.

So rather than see Purim as jarring, I invite you to see it as… havdalah. See Purim as part of the web of protection and strength we can draw around ourselves at a difficult time in world history, or maybe a difficult time personally. You might not tune into the silly energy this year, there might be a different energy you find in the story we’re about to read. And whatever speaks to you this year, I hope it can help bolster you in these times we are living through. I hope that this year Purim can be your protective web, your havdalah.

We continue to pray for peace reciting 'Esa Einai' - Psalm 121 and Acheinu.

May this Purim be, as Rabbi Miriam suggested, a web of strength around us.